Jackass in the Past
by Crazy Queen 101
Summary: Relena is testing a time machine illegaly and she needs the boys to be the test subjects. So they end up in an episode of Jackass with Shakespeare as the host. 5 reviews and I'll continue!^_^
1. Default Chapter

Jackass In The Past  
  
Disclaimer: Uhh, do I look like I own Gundam Wing? No I don't. Therefore I am writing a fic.  
  
Heero: RUUUUUUUUUN!!  
  
Duo: Where?  
  
Trowa: Do you want to get caught?  
  
Wufei: THEY'RE GAINING ON US!  
  
Relena: It doesn't make sense running from my love; for it is eternal!  
  
All: * eyes twitch *  
  
Duo: Where's Quatre?  
  
Quatre: * sneezes * I'm right behind you!  
  
Relena: Do you like my new perfume? It's called Nigel's Scents. It's imported from Nigeria!  
  
Wufei: Can't.run. any more.Poison perfume too thick * faints *  
  
Relena: * picks up Wufei and puts him in the closet and shuts the door * Goood. The perfume is working.  
  
Heero: Oh shit.she got Wufei1  
  
Trowa: Who cares? Run for your own damn.* faints *  
  
Relena: You can't escape! I have Trowa now! * puts him in another closet *  
  
Heero: Nooo! Trowa is gone too!  
  
Quatre: It's something in the perf--* faints *  
  
Heero:; Duo, run for your life! It's just us now!  
  
Duo: I feel woozy. but.must keep running.  
  
Heero: That's the spirit! What's in the perfume? Relena: Nigeeeerian secret! * empties the bottle on herself *  
  
Heero: We're SO dead. * faints in Relena's arms *  
  
Duo: Oh crap * faints *  
  
Relena: * in wristwatch walkie-talkie * Mission successful. I have all the boys. We can test it now *collects the boys * Bring it over girls. We have all the test subjects necessary to test our experimental stuff things. Remember to bring all the experimental stuff so we can proceed with the testing. Over and out.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Girl#1: We're HEEE-RREEEE!  
  
Girl#2:At what time are we able to proceed with our illegal experiment? Lousy stinking government won't let us do a lousy stinkin' experiment.  
  
CRAZY QUEEN 101: Okay I hope you people liked it! If I get 5 reviews, JUST 5 REVIEWS I will continue. And yes, this does have to do with the same Jackass on Mtv.  
  
CQ101 ^.~ 


	2. Here's Shakespeare!

Jackass in the Past 2  
  
Disclaimer: I only own the story, not the shows that the stories are based on.  
  
Many thanks to all of my reviewers! Especially animeangel685 for reviewing TWO of my fics! Yay for me! For ALL the other people who read this, please review me and give me ideas for stunts!  
  
And as for Slice, I'll let you kill Dorothy... (read my reviews)  
  
AT THE G-BOYS HOUSE  
  
Relena: The perfume works!  
  
Dorothy: Yes. So can we start the experiment? * glances at the boys tied up in a corner *  
  
Slice: NOT IF I CAN STOP YOU!!! * pulls out a hunter's rifle * DIE BITCH!! * shoots the life out of Dorothy *  
  
Dorothy: * dies *  
  
Slice: * runs out * Yeah. My work here is done. Bitch had to die. She's weird beyond description.  
  
Relena: Oh well. The bitch was useless anyway * throws her in the garbage after chopping her up into a trillion pieces * Today's garbage day anyway.  
  
Boys: * stir and moan *  
  
Girl #1: They're waking up.  
  
Girl#2: So we can start.  
  
Heero: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE?!  
  
Trowa: She's right there. You don't need to shout.  
  
Duo: What's that box thingy?  
  
Relena: A time machine.  
  
Girl#2: And you are the test subjects.  
  
Wufei: Just don't muss my hair.  
  
Quatre: So where are you sending us? Relena: To wherever we want.  
  
Heero: What if Duo has to shit * sarcastically * on the way to the past?  
  
Girl#2: We care....why?  
  
Relena: It doesn't matter. Let me explain why you're here. WE need YOU to test the time machine.  
  
Heero: Why?  
  
Relena: Because no one will miss you if you don't come back..  
  
Wufei: Oh hell...  
  
Relena: GET IN THE MACHINE!!  
  
Duo: We're tied to a pole.  
  
Girl#1: * pushes them and the pole into the time machine * Ready?  
  
Relena: * closes the time machine door * Yes. * pushes some buttons * BYE BOYS!!1  
  
Heero: This sucks eggs. * unties the rope * We're locked in a box going who knows where!!  
  
IN THE PAST..  
  
AN: Shakespeare will be referred to as " WS "  
  
WS: * sees the box appear out of thin air * Art this some form of. dark sorcery? Cursèd upon my generation? (Remember in this time there were no bad words or slang or any bad language that we have nowadays)  
  
Duo: Ô_Ô HUH???  
  
Trowa: Excuse him. He's a bit on the stupid side.  
  
WS: Pray tell. what thou art dost thou mean?  
  
Heero: WE WENT TO THE PAST!  
  
Wufei: How are we gonna live without technology?  
  
WS: Technology? What dost thou mean?  
  
Heero: ;__; WHY ME???  
  
Trowa: +_+ Just pretend this shit isn't happening.  
  
Duo: I'm confused !!!  
  
Wufei: you always were. And always will be. And so on. And so forth.  
  
Quatre: * bawls *  
  
WS: Whilst you fellows art here, I have a favor to ask of thee.  
  
Wufei: What?  
  
WS: Well, I am writing a new play, called Jackass, and I needest thou as my cast members.  
  
Heero: I guess it wouldn't hurt to try that crap.  
  
Crazy Queen 101: Yeah. It's short I know. But I need ideas for stunts, so I can't write that in yet. I HAVE NO IDEAS! The old English is confusing is it not? * snickers * Enjoy chapter 3 when it comes out!!! =P. And I want to tell a BIIIIIG secret... but I can't..Damn, damn, DAMN!!  
  
CQ101 ^.~ 


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